If it’s one thing native NYCers are good at, it’s talking you into doing something that benefits them and does absolutely nothing for you. Not to mention, the way they make it sound so good, you would think they were handing you free gold bars and bags of rare diamonds worth millions.
Why don’t you cut your class because it’s my lunch period and I want to eat with you. You can eat pizza twice today!
Buy me this car and make all the payments, I’ll keep it clean and take you to work sometimes!
I’m robbing the bank. You don’t have to do anything, just put this mask on and stand here with this gun. I’ll split profits with you!
Umm…ok. Yea. Sure, I’m in.
I see it happening already for the Brooklyn Nets. They’re the new cool kids on the block and competing with the Knicks for the title of NYC’s “team”. Naturally, you think they would compete on the court to see who is actually winning, right?
NYC’s team is determined by whose parties are more of a zoo. The parties that were so crazy that police had to shut the door down because they were at capacity. Better yet, you’re really doing it if your party is shut down all together because that means the whole city came out.
They’re new and want to get acclimated to the NYC culture- what is one “Welcome to NYC” party going to hurt? It’s only one and it’s before the season starts, they won’t party during the season at all.
Umm…ok. Yea. Sure, I’m in.
The thing is, the promoters, partygoers and club owners failed to remind Kris, Deron and Joe (probably the rest of the team, too, they’re just not on the flyer) of a few things. Luckily, I’m here to remind them:
1. Your season starts in less than a week and you need rest. All of this new attention you’ve been receiving is probably exhausting.
2. You’re playing the Knicks the very first game of the regular season- shouldn’t you want to make sure you get that one in the bag?
3. “Welcome to NY”? The Nets were in NJ before this, let’s stop acting like you came from Montana.
4. Have you already forgotten about the eight nights of concerts and parties Jay-Z hosted to “Welcome” you to Brooklyn?
5. You have a club in your arena, one of your owners is Jay-Z and you’re a stone’s throw away from Manhattan. This is hardly the last party of the season.
6. Partying too much will effect your performance on the court- even if you don’t drink.
7. It’s cold-blooded out here. NYC will love you when you win and hate/clown you if you lose or embarrass us.
8. You will be disowned as quickly as you were embraced.
9. The Knicks will always get a pass because they were here first, they started off winning and they have loyal fans. Let’s call a spade a spade, most Brooklyn Nets fans were once Knicks fans who shifted once they found out BK was getting a team. #Noshade
10. DO NOT drink the kool-aid (sorry, champagne. You fancy now)! You attending parties does nothing for your image or marketability. It either does nothing for it at all or hurts it!
This is not a good way to start the season. Any “Welcome to NY” parties should have happened weeks ago and not within days of tip-off. I haven’t heard about the Knicks hosting any parties yet, they’re still one up on the Nets in my book!
Sorry to throw a wrench in the game promoters, I live for this sport.